Archive for category Education and Parenting
And a child will lead them
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Culture, Education and Parenting on November 23, 2008
The sages describe yeridas haDoros, the principle that each generation declines spiritual from the previous one as we move farther from Creation and from the giving of the Torah. But spiritual decline has turned into freefall, along with morals, manners, work ethic, and self respect.
Doonesbury is on the mark for the second time in two weeks. Maybe a record!
Friday Flashback
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting on November 20, 2008
I’m planning to use Friday posts to revisit old articles. This one, Mirroring Parents, was extremely popular, and was translated into several different languages.
America — Where all our Children are Above Average
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting on November 12, 2008
For decades now, educators have been unable to understand that self-esteem is not instilled through grade-inflation and deluging children in exuberant praise for mediocre performance. Well, the results are in: our children, on the whole, suffer from delusional over-confidence, the consequences of which will no doubt make themselves known as time marches on.
Read about the study here.
Best Email of the Month Dept.
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting on November 12, 2008
Lipstick in School
(I’d like to attribute this to the person who wrote it. If anyone knows it’s origin, please leave a comment.)
According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington was recently faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom. That was fine, but after they put on their lip stick, they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night the maintenance man would remove them, and the next day the girls would put them back.
Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night (you can just imagine the yawns from the little princesses).
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the m irrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required.
He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers … and then there are educators
Hat tip: Dave Weinbaum
Teaching the Fallacy of Moral Relativism
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting, Philosophy on November 9, 2008
Where are they now? It might make a good follow-up story, but in the meantime …
Life with a teenager
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting on October 25, 2008
The good news is — it’s not just your kid.
Half-way Home
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting, Holidays, Philosophy on September 15, 2008
I don’t pay much attention to my birthdays, but last week’s was particularly significant. I could pontificate on my years now equaling the number of prophets in mentioned in scripture, but I’ve long been anticipating this milestone for a different reason.
With this birthday, I have now been Torah observant for half my life.
Approaching Rosh HaShonah, we can’t (and shouldn’t try to) escape Rambam’s famous allegory of the scales of merit upon that will determine our fortunes for the coming year. Every one of us should consider himself 50/ 50 — half meritorious and half guilty, with the next action tilting the scales one way or the other. Every action could mean the difference between a good decree and a bad decree, between health and illness, between wealth and poverty, between continued exile and redemption, for ourselves as individuals and, possibly, for a world that is also evenly balanced.
Latecomers to Yiddishkeit haven’t necessarily lived wicked lives. Some of us even sought truth before we found it, and we may have tried to live lives of virtue even before we had the Torah to guide us. But hit-or-miss righteousness is hardly reliable, and even the best of us probably found that the temptation and impulse defeated our most sincere intentions before we developed a solid defense against them.
So the image of 50/ 50 carries a special poignancy for me this year, as I reflect on half a lifetime of playing catch-up, learning aleph-beis two decades too late, struggling with ritual and halacha, and trying to help my children and my students benefit from the double-vision glasses through which I see the world of Torah and the world of no-Torah. It’s painful to witness how casually many who are born into Torah society take Torah for granted, see it more as an inconvenience than an inheritance, and treat it with careless indifference.
It would be easy for me to claim that I’ve more than tipped the scales toward the side of merit. But with the scales evenly balanced in years, what better moment than now to reflect on the catastrophic consequence of one false move, or the incalculable heroism of a single step at the right moment in the right direction?
In the long run — Parshas Ki Seitzei
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting, Weekly Parsha on September 11, 2008
One of the most tragic stories I’ve ever heard was recounted by the late Canadian-Jewish writer Mordecai Richler. Raised in an orthodox Jewish home, Richler worked as a teenager in his family’s store. One day, as he was tidying up behind the counter, he discovered a second set of the weights his father used to measure out goods upon the store’s old-fashioned scales.
Richler immediately recognized these weights for what they were: dishonest. By using a lighter set of weights when selling, his father would have to give his customers less for their money. By using a heavier set of weights when buying, he would get more for his own money.
The young Mordecai Richler immediately recalled the prohibition from this week’s Torah portion: You shall not have in your pouch separate weights – a large one and a small one … a perfect and honest weight you shall have, a perfect and honest measure you shall have, so that your days will be lengthened in the land… (Deuteronomy 25:13-15).
When Richler confronted his father, he was told: “That’s Torah; this is business.”
Mordecai Richler decided at that moment that he would never again have anything to do with Torah. He never did.
The Torah not only prohibits the use of dishonest weights; it prohibits us from even having them in our possession. Rashi comments that, if we violate this prohibition, we will have nothing, implying that one whose business dealings are less than upright will see no profit in the long run.
But Rashi’s words suggest even more. Why does the Torah forbid even ownership of such weights? Because there is no purpose for them other than dishonesty. The temptations of the material world are so compelling and so persistent that it is not enough for us to resist them – we have to distance ourselves from them to the limit of our ability. If we do not, we might escape their influence ourselves, but we will not be able to protect our children who, once exposed, may not have the strength of character or the resolve to follow the path of virtue.
We can always find endless rationalizations for sidestepping the law. It’s only a few pennies per customer; my suppliers are charging me too much to begin with; everybody else does the same thing. In the short term, we may see benefit from our infidelity. But in the long term, when our children either absorb our distorted values or recognize our hypocrisy and reject Torah values altogether, then we will have cut ourselves off from the future. Without the legacy of our children to carry on our defining mission, we will truly, as Rashi tells us, be left with nothing.
By trusting in ultimate justice, by distancing ourselves from dishonest practices, then we will gain more than success in business. “If you do so,” Rashi tells us, “you will truly have everything.” The self-respect that accompanies virtue is its own reward in the short run; the gratification of seeing children grow up with self-respect will be the reward in the long run.
Celebration
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Education and Parenting on September 4, 2008
We’re celebrating my youngest daughter’s bas mitzvah this Shabbos, so I’m looking back to what I wrote on the occasion of the bar mitzvah of my oldest son, which closesly followed the holiday of Shavuos.
Too good to be true
Posted by Yonason Goldson in Culture, Education and Parenting on August 26, 2008
Hard to believe, but a 9-year-old little-league pitcher has been disqualified for throwing the ball too fast. Against a record of eight wins and no losses, the other team gave up before the game even began. Faced with the injustice of vastly superior talent, the league organizers ruled that the pitcher with the extraordinary arm would not be allowed to play.
Somehow, I suspect this never happened to Sandy Koufax.
Do we really want to teach our children that we will penalize them for ability and achievement while protecting them from stiff competition? Kind of reminds me of what I wrote a couple of days ago about the Olympics.
It’s ironic that the boy played in New Haven, home of Yale University, one of the three most prestigious — and competitive — schools in the country. Even more ironic is the link at the bottom of the article: See photos of Olympic champion Michael Phelps.
Should the IOC should take away Phelps’s medals and distribute them among less talented athletes?
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